Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Depletion

I have to say that this week (Sunday, January 24th-Saturday, January 31st, 2010) was quite possibly one of the worst, most ridiculous weeks I've ever had. Say wallah? Wallah!

I'm teetering between fantasy and reality. It's a dance that one must perfect or else face horrendous consequences. I must have both in order to be sane yet practical, though it may seem somewhat paradoxical. Both extremes will neutralize internally.

On Vednesday with a "V", my lovely vehicle decided to shut off on me as I was merging from the highway to the feeder (aka service road). Just my luck, right? But, by the Grace of His Mercy, I made it to and fro alright. All is fixed for the time being...

My car gave up on me. I almost gave up on it. People have given up on me and I have given up on them, indefinitely. Disconnection is like a rejuvenating re-birth. Sometimes, it absolutely must be done. You fix the problem, by whatever means necessary, and continue on.

I kicked off a diet a couple days ago. I did it not so much to lose an excessive amount of weight but more so to detox and keep healthy. I don't know how else to say this without sounding like a complete and utter hippie, but it's brought about some great energy.

I love surprises and I hate surprises. I would argue that in some cases, ignorance is truly bliss. If I allow myself to be ruled by reality, I probably would be an even more unhappy person. I have lost faith in humanity and trust very few, if at all.

I have no clue what I've been doing lately, honestly. I have been oversleeping alot lately. Quite frankly, I look forward to sleeping and escaping this astringent, unsatisfying life. There are exponentially more losses than gains. Just my luck.

Layla Tov.

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